Stop Keeping Score

Stop Keeping Score

Witten by Lisa Whiteman

Score keeping is a very necessary step in many things we encounter, sports being the first that comes to mind for many.  It is a measure of who is winning and who is losing, who is doing better, potentially who practiced more, or which team works better and more cohesively together.  Score keeping is a testament also to how the game or match may end.  In life we tend to carry over this same method of record-keeping and judgement as to how our lives may turn out or how they may progress.  We constantly take scores of where we are compared to our friends and siblings and co-workers, often with heavy judgment towards each other.  Often-times with incredibly harsh judgment towards ourselves and where our own scores stack up compared to where we think the score should be.  This judgement typically comes from the idea that social status or material things we collect is a true measure to the scoring quality and overall value we offer as people.    Denzel Washington said, you will never see a hearse pulling a trailer.  So, in the grand scheme of things, how can your life score possibly depend on the things you have?  If you have a nicer car than your neighbor does that now mean your life expectancy has increased by three years?  Does that now mean your physical health has improved by four percent?  We all know that this is absurd and there is no external referee or management team allotting us half a point for the better car or two points for the biggest shoe collection.  Why then must we put so much of the precious game time we have remaining on these things that distract us from truly living a life judgement free from our perceived lack of high score.  When was the last time you allotted points for seeing another sunny day?  When was the last time you gave yourself credit for making parental sacrifices like Friday night to yourself?  When was the last time you told yourself how well you made it through that part of your life?  When did you last thank yourself for still being here today after going through so much darkness?  When did you last appreciate having the ability to do all the things you complain about having to do?  Waking up to see another sunny, rainy, or snowy day never seems to generate point value in this game you keep score of, but regretting a play you made ten years ago deducts most value entirely.  A job you did not take, or a girl you didn’t ask out deducts major penalty points but having the ability to purchase groceries allots not a single one.  If you are here, there is still time on the clock, meaning the game is not over and the rules can always change.  Remove judgement from being a measurement tool and add happiness as your compass and stop keeping score.